Be the Change You Wish to See

There’s a lot of anger on social media these days, and I’ve been debating whether I’m being derelict in my civic duty by claiming not to be ‘political’. I vote, but I’m not otherwise politically active or vocal about political issues. This has been an ongoing theme in my thoughts recently, prompted by the US election and its aftermath, the provincial election and the federal election all taking place within the last six months.

Anger and social activism can bring about change. Complacency can enable the erosion of human rights. So, saying you’re ‘not political’ feels somehow like an unacceptable stance.

But…I also think polarization and the demonization of those who think differently than us is, in itself, frightening. I’m a very grey thinker. I don’t easily get angry with people whose life experiences, philosophical beliefs, core values, and fears differ from mine, and lead them to have different political beliefs than I do.

Since this concept has been on my mind so much, I’ve been noticing examples of the ripple effects of choosing kindness over anger.

For the first few years we lived in Brighton, a big garish sign on the corner announced that our neighbourhood was “Coming Soon!”, even though the neighbourhood had already been built. Ray sent polite emails to the developer asking him if he could remove the sign. He received what seemed like a dismissive response. He could have written to the town council; sent increasingly irate emails to the developer; or started a neighbourhood petition…the political activism approach, I suppose. The issue might have gotten resolved, but not without a lot of negativity.

Instead, he asked the developer for permission to dismantle the sign himself. The developer was grateful for the offer and apologized for not getting to it sooner. With the help of a few neighbours, the sign was taken down and the space was transformed into a community garden. People donated plants, painted stones and made a welcome sign. Neighbours have commented that whenever they drive home and see the sign, it makes them smile.

Another example. When we lived in Ottawa, the woman across the street offered to buy a snowblower that we could use if Ray cleared her driveway. Her driveway was much smaller than ours, so it was a good deal for us. When Loris moved into a senior’s residence, she told us to keep the snowblower. In the spirit of paying her kindness forward, we left the snowblower with another neighbour when we moved to Brighton.

So, then we were in Brighton with no snowblower. Ray and Bill asked a neighbour – a busy contractor – if they could use his snowblower and, in exchange, they’d clear his driveway as well as their own. They also cleared the driveways of several older neighbours. That contractor is now moving out of the neighbourhood, but refuses to take back his snowblower, insisting on leaving it behind for the neighbours to use. A great example of how kindness begets kindness.

All that to say, I think there’s more than one way to bring about change, and lasting change requires both political activism and empathy. I choose to focus on the latter.

Fortunately snowblower season is over, but it’s been a miserable spring in Ontario. We’ve had a few warm, sunny days, but also quite a few days in May where we’ve needed winter coats, and a lot of cool, wet, windy days. We hosted our first Warm Showers cyclist of the season, a 23-year old riding from New Brunswick to Alaska and back. I think of him often as I sit by the fire looking at the miserable weather outside.

Despite that, we’ve transitioned from our winter activities to spring/summer activities. I’ve started dragon boating, though two of our four practices have been cancelled due to inclement weather. Ray has shifted from curling and indoor cycling to golf, outdoor cycling and sailing (he’s signed on as race crew on someone’s boat).

Nick has shifted from the climbing gym to outdoor climbing and half marathon training. He and Megan ran a half marathon a couple weeks ago, for which he did very little training but still finished in an hour and forty-something. He’s registered for another half in the fall and has decided to train for this one to see how much time he can shave off that.

As has become a tradition, Josee, Lorrie and I did an escape room to celebrate my birthday. We went to Base 31 in Picton, worth a visit if you’re going to be in Prince Edward County this summer. Base 31 is a former WWII training base that has been repurposed into a ‘cultural destination’. It includes an open-air food and drink market that we wanted to try out, but it wasn’t opening until the following day. Fortunately, Joe, from La Baracca, was onsite getting ready for the grand opening and kindly offered to make the three of us lunch. The food was delicious and the service was exceptional.

They also have concerts on site, with performances by Canadian bands such as Blue Rodeo and Alan Doyle.

Ray and I finally got to Ottawa for a whirlwind visit. We wandered around our old neighbourhood, stopping in to visit people along the way, and caught up with as many friends as we could over a 48-hour period.

It’s been raining pretty much non-stop for the last couple of days, so here’s hoping for a bit of sunshine on the horizon. Spring is, as always, ‘just around the corner’.