60 at 60: Successes and Failures

Contentment comes from being satisfied with what you have. Complacency is when you feel so satisfied that you don’t change anything. Can you be content without becoming dull and boring? Is it okay to be dull and boring if you’re content? The fine line between contentment and complacency inspired my “60 at 60” list. I’m very content with my life, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t get too comfortable and stop trying new things.

I also wanted to make sure I was living intentionally, rather than letting life happen, so the 60 at 60 challenge was also about spending time on my top priorities: relationships, health, and making a positive contribution. It seems like a no-brainer to spend your free time doing what matters most, but it’s easy to fritter time away if you’re not paying attention.

Since I’m no longer at 60, it’s time to reflect on how it went. I added items to the list as I went along rather than starting with a pre-determined set of challenges. That gave me more flexibility, but it also meant I was less accountable. If I failed, I just didn’t put it on the list. I’ll start with my successes, then talk about my failures.

Get Outside the Comfort Zone

1. Sunbathe on an au naturel island
2. Sign up for competitive Dragon Boating
3. Win a gold medal (i.e., stick with dragon boating)
4. Initiate coffee with a stranger
5. Submit a children’s book manuscript
6. Take a dip in an Ontario lake in April (60th birthday)
7. Take a dip in Lake Ontario in April (61st birthday)

I’m probably most proud of sticking with competitive dragon boating when I wanted to quit. At our first festival of the season, we entered two 20-person boats and had 33 paddlers. Only two people weren’t chosen to be in either boat for the finals. I was one of them. The coach chose to have people paddle in back-to-back races rather than put me in. My high school insecurities about sports came flooding back and I came very close to quitting. I decided to push past my fear of judgment (are the other paddlers talking about how bad I am?) and my fear of failure and stick with it. For our final festival, we only entered one boat and I was among the top 20 paddlers selected for the finals. That was a big moment for me.

One day I was looking through an old notebook filled with research on writing a children’s book, and research about writing a short story, and research about writing a middle-grade novel. I’d never written a word of any of those things, but I’d researched them to death. I wasn’t sure whether I hadn’t followed through because I was afraid I’d fail, or if I just like researching more than I like writing fiction. I’m still not sure of the answer to that question, but I challenged myself to start and finish something.

I decided to write a decodable children’s book that was more interesting than the ones on the market. It turns out there’s a reason the ones on the market aren’t very interesting. It’s not an easy task. My first effort was very bad. My second try was still pretty bad. My third try was okay, but not at a level that would be accepted for publication. I submitted it anyway because that was my ‘rule’ and I had a deadline. Now I know that – if I decide I want to – I can push past bad to get to better and perhaps eventually to good. As with the dragon boating, it exercised my discipline muscles. Having done those things will help me not quit just because I’m not immediately good at something.

Be Open to Trying / Learning New Things

I’m generally resistant to trying artsy or sporty things, but having ‘The List’ motivated me to try things I normally wouldn’t have. I didn’t develop any lasting new hobbies, but I created a few things and learned a few things and had fun along the way.

8. Jewellery-Making Workshop
9. Tandem skydiving
10. Learn to crochet
11. Mosaic Workshop
12. Cooking Class
13. Identify all 195 countries on a map
14. Climb a waterfall
15. Visit an Ostrich Ranch
16. Visit a Primate Sanctuary
17. Alpaca Walk / Alpaca Yoga
18. See a Moose in the Wild
19. Switch from Android to iPhone
20. Try new foods: moose meat, ostrich burger, cod’s tongue, raclette
21. Participate in a bird count
22. Try Pickleball
23. Try Frisbee Golf
24. Northumberland Mystery Tour
25. Casa Loma Escape Room
26. Study Portuguese
27. Meditation Sound Bath
28. Sleep clinic assessment

Relationships

Social connections are important for health, happiness and longevity. I made the effort to see as many friends as I could who don’t live nearby. I didn’t include immediate family or local friends in this category because those relationships are pretty easy to maintain. Keeping in touch with far-away friends or friends from the past takes a bit more time and effort.

29. Sister trip to Montreal for cousin reunion with Arliss (61 years)
30. Reconnect with childhood best friend, Susan A. (50 years)
31. Reconnect with grad school friend, Bruce (37 years)
32. Visit Ric and Susan C. in England (32 years)
33. Calabogie weekend with Tim & Pamela (30 years)
34. Big Sisters Little Sisters reunion in Peterborough with Sarah and Joanna (30 years)
35. Anne & Omar visit (30 years)
36. Spa afternoon with Joanna (30 years)
37. Visit Loris (27 years)
38. Meet up with the Ottawa Gang (15-25 years)
39. Visit the Cheltenham gang (17 years)
40. River’s Edge Weekend with Anne & Sanjay (15 years)
41. See Russ & Sue B. in Ottawa (10 years)

I also made a few new friends this year, which is nice because it keeps things fresh – new conversations, new perspectives on the world.

42. Make a new friend (Hilary)
43. Make a new friend (Joan)
44. Make new friends (Audrey & Jeff)

Make a Positive Contribution

I love volunteering with the grade 2 students at school and this year I increased my commitment from three mornings a week to five. I also upgraded my skillset by taking 80 hours of online training in how to teach struggling readers.

[I’ve mentioned before that the kids never fail to make me laugh. This week, a lesson was being given by a substitute teacher. She said, “We won’t be going for recess until we’ve finished this.” The eyes of a boy sitting near me widened and he whispered to his classmate, “Isn’t that ILLEGAL?” These kids know their rights and recess is one of them!]

Random acts of kindness should generally be kept to yourself, but – without going into details – it’s one of the items on my list. They’re my way of focusing on what I can control when the headlines are depressing. Anger and divisiveness aren’t my vibe, so I try to put positive energy into the world.

45. Volunteer 5 days a week
46. Complete Orton-Gillingham Classroom Educator and Associate Level training
47. Random acts of kindness

Appreciate the Wonder and Beauty of the World

I love travelling to beautiful places, but I also recognize that you don’t need to go far to be in awe of the wonder and beauty of the natural world. It helps keep life’s problems in perspective.

48. Experience a total solar eclipse 
49. Walk on the Earth’s Mantle
50. View the Northern Lights
51. Visit Lisbon and the Algarve in Portugal
52. Visit Gros Morne National Park in Newfoundland
53. Visit Sint Maarten / Saint Martin
54. Explore new parts of England: Cambridge, Histon, Pershore, River Thames

Healthy Habits

And now, the failures.

Health is one of my top priorities, as it should be for most people at 60. I want to keep doing the things I like for as long as I can. That means working on flexibility, strength, balance and cardio. I did not do that.

Aside from dragon boating in the summer and a few physical challenges (#55-#58), my list is sorely lacking in healthy habits.

I don’t like to exercise and, particularly during the six-month long Canadian winter, I find it very hard to motivate myself to move. Having the list did nothing to eliminate that lethargy.

I successfully completed a few month-long habit changes (#58-#60) but none of those habits stuck after the 30 days were up.

55. 56 km cycle along L’Estriade in Quebec’s Eastern Townships
56. 50 km cycle along Niagara River Recreational Trail
57. 10-hour Western Brook Pond day hike
58. 30 days of Flow Yoga
59. No social media or news sites for a month
60. Plan and make two or three meals per week for a month

I’m definitely not in peak physical condition. I am at my peak weight. Health will be my primary focus for the coming year (she says confidently, despite having never kept this promise in the past).

Perhaps I need to come up with a “70 by 70” list…