Our flight home from Montego Bay was delayed by 30 hours, about ten of which we spent in the airport. We got chatting to a few guys who were waiting for the same flight. They’d come to Jamaica to celebrate their 60th birthdays. We asked how far they had to drive from the airport, since we were scheduled to arrive in Toronto in the middle of the night. “We’re just going to Georgetown.” Hmm, 60-year olds from Georgetown…it turned out two of them had gone to the same high school and middle school as Ray and I (though Ray was six years ahead of us). We hadn’t recognized each other and neither of them remembered me, but I easily remembered Gary, who’d been in my class for grades 6, 7 and 8. He still had the same easy laugh. Looking at a 60-year old man and seeing a 12-year old boy is a surreal form of time travel.
It’s not surprising that they didn’t remember me given how quiet I was in those days – too shy to be popular, not weird enough to be memorable. Gary asked if I’d been to any of the reunions. I haven’t and I didn’t keep in touch with any of my classmates.
That ‘small world’ moment sent me down a rabbit hole of introspection, thinking about the passage of time, who I was then, and who I’ve become since. Secondary school was neither a miserable nor a marvellous time for me. I had a best friend and we had good times, but I also remember that period as though I’m watching life from inside my bubble of shyness, looking out at people playing sports, joining clubs and going to parties.
In high school, who you hung out with determined your social status. No one wanted to be seen with someone who might lower their status, except those few who were confident enough in their own position to be nice to everyone. And you only had to look at the cafeteria to know where you fit. We had a couple of tables for the popular group, the ‘all-rounders’ who did well in school, played sports, joined clubs and went to parties on the weekends. We had a table for the ‘browners/nerds’, who had averages of 95+ in the days when that was very hard to do. They didn’t play sports or go to parties, but they all went on to university. We had a couple tables of ‘cool’ groups, who hung out in the smoking area and had few interests outside of partying. And then there were the ‘leftovers’, small groups of friends scattered between the bigger cliques. I was a leftover. University was a completely different vibe and I became a different person there, so now I barely recognize the person I was back in middle school and the early years of high school.
It’s strange to look at yearbook photos from back then, everyone so full of hope and idealism, when you know what the future held for them. A few students from my year didn’t survive high school (car crash, plane crash, peanut allergy). Quite a few would be pregnant before they graduated. I was reminded once again of how fortunate I’ve been.
I’d love to hear other people’s experiences of high school. Do you still have friends from that time? Do you feel like you’re essentially the same person, just older and more mature, or does that person feel alien to you now (like younger me does to current me)? Which clique were you a part of, or were you a floater, able to fit in with any group (as one of Nick’s teachers described him)?
When I arrived back in Canada, 5 pounds heavier and 50 degrees colder, my motivation to do yoga every day plummeted. I put it off for several days but I knew you guys were ‘watching’ and that accountability definitely helps, so I’ve picked it back up. I’m on day 8 and it’s January 22nd, so I’m going to be carrying that challenge into mid-February. I’ll still add a new challenge on February 1st, but I haven’t decided what that will be yet.
I did, however, complete my challenge of learning all the countries of the world (since that task lends itself well to lying on the couch on dreary winter days).
60 at 60 list:
- January challenge: 30 days of Flow Yoga (yoga with Adriene) – in progress
Memory challenge: Identify all 195 countries in the world on a map (using Seterra app)Sunbathe on the au naturel islandTry pickleballClimb a waterfall
Well you’ve got me memorising a list of countries and now I shall be reflecting on my school years. Thank you for the great read and the inspiration Carolyn! Xxx
Not sure who you are because everyone seems to show up as anonymous recently, but glad to hear you’ve been inspired to learn countries!
It’s kind of a moot point for me to tell you about my experience because you already know. Like you – SO fundamentally different that I can hardly identify with high school me. School was certainly not a good experience for me until I went to university. After that, “life experiences” continued to happen and each one forced/taught me to become who I am. Lots of hard knocks but in retrospect I don’t think I’d give up any of them because they’ve made me … me!
I look at the school pictures of you – so shy and quiet and can’t even connect it to who you are now. Confident. Grounded. Calm. Setting and reaching so many goals.
We’ve had an entertaining ride together ☺️
I considered writing about what I’d say to my 13-year old self if I could go back, but that really makes no sense because you have to live it to learn it. Quite the journey we’ve had and wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Although I’d like to have mom and dad back 🥺