Public Nudity and Pickleball (but not at the same time)

As I’m writing this, Ray and I are ‘stranded’ in Ocho Rios, Jamaica, our flight delayed due to the winter storms back home. I’m also sitting on a beach listening to the waves crash against the shore, so I’m not expecting much sympathy.

Our 25th wedding anniversary was in March 2020, so covid canceled and then postponed our celebratory trip until now. This is the first time Ray and I have been to an all-inclusive resort together, mostly because Ray isn’t a lie-on-the-beach-all-day kind of guy. We chose Couples Tower Isle in part because of the variety of activities and excursions that were included in the package price.

Our first day we were lying in our lounge chairs on the beach and Ray was drawing something with his fingers in the sand. I asked what he was doing and he looked a bit sheepish. “Are you designing your pizza oven?!?”  He was. Later he built a full-size model.

We did a lot of activities together – nature tour, catamaran cruise, Hobie Cat sailing, glass-bottomed boat cruise, Dunn’s River Falls, pickleball, sunbathing on the nude island, piano bar sing-along, dancing, swimming, and lounging on the beach with our books. Ray also went kayaking and snorkelling. I’d thought about joining him for the snorkel, but decided against it, which turned out to be a potentially life-saving decision. When he was a fair distance from the boat, he saw two Sharptail eels, which look like giant sea snakes. I’m not a strong swimmer and if I’d been with him I’d have been hyperventilating through my snorkel while trying desperately to propel myself out of the water, likely proving once and for all that I’m more frightened of snakes than I am of death.

Challenge #3: Public Nudity

As part of my 60 challenges at 60, I decided to take a huge step outside my comfort zone and visit the nude island at the resort. It’s not a clothing optional island, it’s clothing prohibited. Since this is a Couples resort, one of the rules is that you can’t go to the island on your own. Both members of the couple must be willing, so Ray and I leaped out of our comfort zones together. 

The people on the resort’s website were all gorgeous, young, tanned and fit. They were obviously models, but it left us wondering if the resort would be full of 20-something honeymooners, so before heading to the island we wanted to check out the clientele. The aesthetic turned out to be more American Walmart than French Vogue, which put our minds at ease, but the schedule of events taking place on the island gave us new cause for concern – Ring Toss (so…is that just regular ring toss, but you’re naked, or is it, like, a variation…), and Find Your Mate (the mind boggles at the possibilities).

We decided to bite the bullet and go first thing the next morning before we chickened out. After ensuring we’d put sunscreen on all the critical bits, we headed out, only to learn that the red flag was up meaning the water was too rough for trips to the island. Not to be deterred, the next day we repeated the process and were the first to arrive at the island. We found a fairly secluded spot and got into the appropriate attire. Then it started to rain a little and the wind picked up. After about a half hour, we decided to head back to the mainland. We’d done it, but we were the only ones on the island so it kind of felt like we’d cheated. 

A couple of days later, we tried again, and this time about 20 people were on the island when we arrived. There was a naked guy doing yoga, naked snorkelers with their shiny white butts protruding out of the water like freshly-baked sourdough, and three naked couples at a picnic table casually eating lunch together. There were people of all shapes and sizes, with mastectomy scars and caesarean scars and cellulite and funny-looking bits and pieces. 

I’d read reviews that described the experience as ‘liberating’ or ‘freeing’ and thought that was just the kind of thing you’re supposed to say, but it’s surprising how quickly that feeling hits you. We all hide parts of ourselves, both literally and figuratively, and when you stop hiding, you realize that no one cares. The huge fear of revealing yourself to others very quickly becomes, “Huh. I thought this would be a bigger deal.” Secrets lose their power once they’ve been exposed. It is what it is. We are who we are. No big deal.

For those of you saying, ‘pics or it didn’t happen’, Ray did take a few shots of me, at least one of which he argued was strategically composed and tasteful enough to go in the blog as ‘proof’, but I said Nick didn’t need that kind of trauma in his life. “Trigger warning: this post may include pictures of your mother naked.” To be fair, Nick probably unsubscribed five paragraphs ago.

Challenge #4: Pickleball

Playing pickleball may seem pretty innocuous, especially compared to public nudity, but playing any sport with Ray is out of my comfort zone. I did well in school in all but the non-academic subjects – music, art, physical education and home economics – so I avoid activities that require me to be musical, artistic, athletic or domestic. Music I will continue to avoid because I’m tone deaf and it benefits no one for me to go down that path, but I’ll push the comfort zone on the others. You have to be bad at something before you can get good at it.

Sports that require hand-eye coordination are particularly flummoxing for me as I’m left-handed for some things and right-handed for others, so I struggle to figure out which hand to use and often switch back and forth while playing. Ray, on the other hand, is good at every sport he tries – or at least not bad – whether he’s played it before or not. We tried it out and Ray tentatively offered me tips (it’s possible that in the past I haven’t been receptive to tips). I wasn’t very good, but we had fun and were both smiling and talking to each other afterwards, so overall a success. It’s definitely something I’ll try again this summer on Brighton’s new pickleball courts.

Challenge #5: Climb up a waterfall

Dunn’s River Falls is one of the top tourist destinations in Jamaica and it was an included excursion at our resort, but we were still hesitant to go because so many of the reviews said that the crowds ruined the experience. So far in this post I’ve revealed that I’m not good at swimming, art, music, sports or domestic skills, but research is one of my superpowers so I did my homework before we left and checked the cruise ship schedule for Ocho Rios. The only day cruise ships weren’t in port this week was Saturday, so that’s when we booked our tour. When our bus arrived to an empty parking lot, the driver commented that the lot was normally full by that time of day. Our busload of 26 were the only people on the climb the whole way up, which made such a difference to the quality of the experience. Yay me!

I sometimes wonder what the locals must think of the tourists. Our resort has an option to pay US$250 for a private dinner on the beach. I couldn’t figure out the rationale for paying that much money to eat on the beach at an all-inclusive resort. Like, you could go to the buffet, fill up your plate and eat it on the beach with your partner…for free! Or you could sit in a candlelit restaurant overlooking the water and have a delicious 5-course meal served to you, with unlimited wine or champagne (or whatever else you want to drink)…for free! Some people have too much money and too little imagination. Or maybe I’m just not romantic enough.

60 at 60 list:

1. January challenge: 30 days of Flow Yoga (yoga with Adriene) – in progress
2. Memory challenge: Identify all 195 countries in the world on a map (using Seterra app) – in progress
3. Sunbathe on the au naturel island
4. Try pickleball
5. Climb a waterfall

My January challenge of 30 days of Yoga with Adriene had to go on hold for the duration of our trip as the wifi in our room was often non-existent and always spotty. I did stretches on the balcony and tried the resort yoga and will return to Adriene when I’m back on home turf.

Challenge #2 is also still in progress and I’ve so far memorized the location of the countries of North America, South America, Europe and Asia so I have about 130 down, with most of Africa and Oceania to go.