Getting older kind of sneaks up on you. It repeatedly catches you off guard. One day you look down and your hands look just like your mom’s and you think “When did that happen?”. You look in the mirror and notice your eyebrows have started to disappear (check under your chin – you might find them lurking there).
It’s a strange moment when you realize that many of your friends are grandparents and you’ve become part of the generation you used to think of as old. My dad always said he didn’t want to hang out with old people, even when he was in his seventies. The definition of “old people” keeps shifting higher the closer you get to it.
It’s human nature to compare our current selves with our past selves. We’re always chasing that ten-pounds-lighter, ten-years-younger version of ourselves. I’m trying to retrain my brain to compare myself to my future self instead.
Twenty years from now, I may no longer exist, and if I do, I’ll have more wrinkles, more body fat, less muscle, lower bone density. Aches will be more persistent and mobility more limited. My cognitive functions may have declined as well as my hearing and vision. I’ll have lost people I care deeply about, and I might be navigating my own personal health challenges or caring for others. It’s not necessarily a pretty picture.
It can be overwhelming to think about, which is precisely why we tend to avoid it, but if we can shift our perspective from looking back at our younger selves with longing and envy, to leaping ahead and looking back at our current selves, we can transform that envy into gratitude for what we have now. Instead of “What I wouldn’t give to look like that again!” shifts to “What my future self wouldn’t give to be able to hop up off the floor like that again!” We’re always the youngest we’ll ever be and that’s a cause for celebration rather than regret.
Books
I haven’t done a book update in a while, but my top picks from this batch would be Olive Kitteridge and All the Colors of the Dark, which happen to be the last two I read, so there may be some recency bias there.
I first read Olive Kitteridge about 15 years ago, and it came up again as a book club pick. It was one of my favourites so I was happy to re-read it. The themes of aging, mortality, long-term relationships, loneliness, and regret, resonated differently at sixty than they did in my forties.
All the Colors of the Dark is both beautifully written and a page-turner, a rare combination. I found the first couple of chapters a bit confusing, but after that I couldn’t put it down.
60 at 60
I haven’t added much to my 60 at 60 list lately. I’ve got 14 items to add with four months to go. That’s about one item a week so I’d better get on that. Number 46 on the list was a month without social media or news sites (some of you may have missed my last post if you normally read the blog via Facebook). I’m back on Facebook and Instagram now, but didn’t reinstall Facebook on my phone, deleted my account on X and generally spend a lot less time scrolling.
Life Update
Here’s a photo summary of what we’ve been up to the past few weeks.
Speaking of Nick…people often ask us what his masters project is about, so for those interested, this article – published by Queen’s University – explains it much more clearly than I can.
Wishing you all a wonderful holiday season spending time with loved ones. Thanks for reading. š
Love Rayās snowman sign and the replica of Daisy looks so real! š¤£
I certainly hear you on the getting older perspective. Makes a lot of sense but everything already hurts!
That little boy with his grandpa is the cutest kid Iāve ever seen! š¬
Finally, just to make your eyes roll, I have kindly included a link to my most recent bestseller https://a.co/d/1QO2inJ since it was inadvertently left out of your blog. š¤£š
I just want to let you know how much I love your blog. It always resonates with me and gives me a lot to think about. Youāre so right about enjoying and appreciating the moment we are in. I have just had ankle replacement surgery and this blog in particular has helped give me hope for whatās ahead for me.
Thank you very much!
Thank you so much for your comment! You made my day. All the best in your recovery from your surgery. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as ankle replacements!
Thatās great as you have made my day so often over the years.š
I had broken 3 bones in my ankle a few years ago when I slipped on ice while running. I had since developed end stage arthritis so a fusion or replacement had to be done. I was fortunate to get the best foot and ankle surgeon in the world. Otherwise I probably wouldāve opted for a fusion.
From Auntie Roseā¦not anonymous š āhop up off of the floorā? Ohā¦how I wish! š
I always enjoy reading your blog. Iāve been reading it for a couple of years, but this is my first comment. Youāre absolutely right about appreciating where we are right now. I hope you and all your family have a great Christmas.
I’m so glad to hear that you enjoy the blog! Thank you for commenting. Merry Christmas! š