What we can control

Nick stayed in Kingston Saturday night and slammed his jacket for the full hour and forty-seven minutes. He’s now easily recognizable as a Queen’s engineering student (and has the sore muscles to prove it). Below, pre-slam pic with Eric and Caleb, two of the three guys he’ll be sharing a house with next year.

Ray and I have been blown away by how well Nick has handled this situation. I’m sure he has his darker moments, but he seems to be accepting what he can’t change, focusing on what’s within his control and taking things as they come. Along those lines, we’ve all been doing what we can to help things go as smoothly as possible.

We’ll be setting Nick up in the basement, so he’ll have the TV room and the spare room to himself. That will give him more space to hang out when friends visit and help him maintain some of the independence he had to give up by moving home.

All three of us attended one-on-one sessions with a cancer coach, a service provided by the Ottawa Regional Cancer Centre. Although we’re all coping reasonably well, we wanted to have that relationship established in case we need it down the line.

We’ve been borrowing our neighbour’s dogs for canine therapy sessions, either the playful pup or the calm, affectionate older dog, depending on our mood.

We’re attending yoga classes and using meditation and breathing exercises to help with sleep, and we’ve identified services that can help manage treatment side effects or related stress (e.g., massage, reiki, infra-red sauna sessions).

Nick and Ray are researching the nutritional side of things, while I focus on providing (and consuming) comfort food.

In theory, we’re getting out for walks regularly, but it’s winter, and it’s Ottawa. Ray works out at the gym. I think about it some days.

We’re gradually adjusting to our ‘new normal’. Nick’s been spending time with high school friends. Writing is therapeutic for me, so the blog helps. We all watch more Netflix than we used to.

We met with our Ottawa-based oncologist for the first time today. Nick said he was good to start treatments as soon as possible, so we should get the date for his first chemo session shortly, which may be before Christmas. It will be on an outpatient basis and will take 4 to 5 hours, every two weeks for six months.

And, while I may be repeating myself here, we’re very grateful for – and strengthened by – the support of our friends and family.